...Would YOU lke to help me meet my weightloss goals?...

Did you know that 95% of people diet the wrong way? Which 95% of the time only leads to frustrating and upsetting results. What if I told you that you could eat pizzas, doughnuts, deep fried cheesecakes, ice cream, burgers, or even ice cream burgers while acheiving that slender sexy beautiful body you've always wanted? It wont be easy, but it will be MUCH easier than what you're doing now. All you have to do, is sacrafice one of those skinny b****** to the Almight Fat Gods! You must be saying, "Seriously? WHERE IS MY HACKSAW?! Bring it on!!"

How do I get started?: Select your weapon of choice (personally I have trouble deciding between the machine gun, or the bazooka.) Once you have chosen your deadly instrument, venture forth to find one of those skinny b***** (they are your enemy.)

Where can I find some skinny minnies? :They are everywhere really... Chances are you may already know a skinny whore that has either stabbed you in the back, called you a name, or even looked at you funny at one point... and if that's the case... game on! Otherwise, you can always go to popular skinny people hang outs, such as: The Gym, The mall, swimming pools, Nail or Hair salons, or even proms (there are no age limits when it comes to sacrificial givings.)

How long until I see results?: Once the sacrafice has been made, you will typically see results the very next morning. Most people lose up to 5 pounds per sacrafice. If you want to lose more simply go sacrifice another skinny minnie, it's that easy! If your goal is to lose 50 lbs then on average you will need to sacrafice around 10 skinny minnies.

Once I have reached my weightloss goals, will I have to continue sacrificing to avoid additional weight gain?: Unlike the Atkins diet where you stop eating carbs completely for a few months and lose tons of weight... then introduce carbs into your daily meals again and balloon to the size of a mini van. We understand that you're only killing people now to get what you want... it doesn't mean it should have to be a life style change! So you can simply sacrafice what you need, and then move on with your life!

Is there a limit as to how many I can sacrafice in a day?: Of course not! You can do it all day if you wanted... whatever floats your boat. That being said, you do not want to die of a scraficial overdose... trust me it's not pretty... so just take it one at a time. I have also found that with these skinny minnie sacrafices, that fresh is best... (just like any meat) However, in effort to save time it's best to get them in bulk... You can use what you need at the time and then just freeze the rest for when you are ready for them. Thawing does present a bit of a problem though... but just play around with it, and see what works for you.

(Personal results may vary, please consult your physician before beggining any sacrificial routine.)