Burger King

Dear King,

Oh, how I miss your juicy flame-broiled beefiness . It's been over 3 days since we've been together, and already I find myself waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, longing for your comforting touch. Unlike other fast food chains, you understand the meaning of the word "burger." A Burger should never be so small that you can handle it with just one hand... but big enough so that it takes 3 people to take on it's magnificent size!

You never judged my love handles, triple chins, or muffin top... in fact you encouraged them. You love a girl with some meat on her bones, and I loved your meat... You taught me how to get it my way, like a number 1 with extra pickle, cheese, and mayo, oh and don't forget the hershey pie... You were always there for me in my time of need and sometimes even 24/7.

However, I am sad to say that our journey has come to its end. It's not you... it's me... okay your right, it's you... I can't be with someone who puts me at risk for heart disease, diabetes, or a permanent fat suit. Please know that I will always have strong feelings for you, and you will always be on my mind, but the truth is you're not healthy for me... or my two asses.

Who knows, maybe in a few years we will see each other again and laugh about all the good times we had together. I wish you nothing but the best and a lifetime of happiness.

Yours truly,

Patty