There once was a girl named Patty,
who became a big ol' fatty.
Her weight was so bad,
she started to look like a lad...
God damn that dumb Dyke Patty...
-The End
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
I love this one...
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on! And doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on! And doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.'
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
E-Merging News!
Feel lucky that you are the first to know the news of the newest hot couple, Patty and Vin Diesel! Patty and Vin met at the Gold's gym, and rumor has it they are now a couple. Patty has a hard time dealing with the media and photos, but they still find time to workout together several times a day and have been caught together in the following photos.
We'd like to wish the couple the best of luck in their exercise ventures together, and a very happy future together!
Monday, February 22, 2010
February...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Don't Fall off the Wagon!!
I know that it has been just over 5 weeks for out little group. Our star chart is starting to grow dim... but now is NOT the time to fall off the wagon ladies.
Make sure that you are drinking all of your water, that you are getting to the gym whenever possible, and that you are maintaining those portion controls that you have set for yourself.
We are all doing a great job so Keep up the good work!
((Taps Microphone))
Tap
Tap
Tapperooni
Anyone out there??
CRAP!!
(Leaps from moving wagon)
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tale of the Tortoise and the Hare
Shape
Shape[sheyp]- noun, verb, shaped, shaping.
the quality of a distinct object or body in having an external surface or outline of specific form or figure.
(Thank you Dictionary.com)
So, it happened yesterday. I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. Shape? No.
I have an excellent imagination. So, I put on my (not form fitting at all) orange T-shirt and went on with my workout. I thought about it a couple times last night, but I didn't want to find out the image in the corner of my eye was wrong. Besides, the scale says that nothing has changed.
But then it happened again. This morning. As I was putting on my non form fitting green top, because you have to look nice on Hair Zappy Day (Oh you all know what I am talking about so I will SO not explain further on this one), I walked past the mirror again. What was this?!?!? SHAPE??? CURVES?!?!? DEFINITION?!?!! WHAT?!?!?
Okay, so I've always had a shape (if you consider blob a shape), but having curves start to show up on my arms, gaining definition, well - that's PRETTY Dang Exciting!!
I'm psyched. Like totally OMG Legally Blond psyched!
Take that you stupid scale. You may not have moved at all, but I'm getting SHAPE! I don't care what you say! I saw it myself. Okay, okay, I'll admit, I have a REALLY good imagination but whatever, I'll go on with my disillusionment if I have to. I have SHAPE!!!
Ok, now back to work for me...
Moral of the story- The scale doesn't always tell the truth (and something about a tortoise and a hare, but I'll get back to you on that one).
Shape[sheyp]- noun, verb, shaped, shaping.
the quality of a distinct object or body in having an external surface or outline of specific form or figure.
(Thank you Dictionary.com)
So, it happened yesterday. I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. Shape? No.
I have an excellent imagination. So, I put on my (not form fitting at all) orange T-shirt and went on with my workout. I thought about it a couple times last night, but I didn't want to find out the image in the corner of my eye was wrong. Besides, the scale says that nothing has changed.
But then it happened again. This morning. As I was putting on my non form fitting green top, because you have to look nice on Hair Zappy Day (Oh you all know what I am talking about so I will SO not explain further on this one), I walked past the mirror again. What was this?!?!? SHAPE??? CURVES?!?!? DEFINITION?!?!! WHAT?!?!?
Okay, so I've always had a shape (if you consider blob a shape), but having curves start to show up on my arms, gaining definition, well - that's PRETTY Dang Exciting!!
I'm psyched. Like totally OMG Legally Blond psyched!
Take that you stupid scale. You may not have moved at all, but I'm getting SHAPE! I don't care what you say! I saw it myself. Okay, okay, I'll admit, I have a REALLY good imagination but whatever, I'll go on with my disillusionment if I have to. I have SHAPE!!!
Ok, now back to work for me...
Moral of the story- The scale doesn't always tell the truth (and something about a tortoise and a hare, but I'll get back to you on that one).
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Helpful stuff
Hey my little FBA friends, how you be hangin'? I am just sitting here thinking of all you lovely ladies at 10:30 at night! *Creepy smile*
... Anyway... So it's been a whole MONTH since we started this diet, crazy hu? We have all been doing really well, and we're already turning into some super sexy senoritas! I think it might be a good idea to start blogging about how far we have come this past month. This way we can keep track of our progress. I usually weigh and measure myself every Sunday. I wasn't able to measure myself this last Sunday, but I measured myself today and so far within the first month I have lost 1 inch around my waist, a little over 1 1/2 inches around my hips, and have lost 10pounds. I have NEVER lost 10 pounds with any diet... unless you consider the flu a diet... Everyone has been doing a great job with staying on track, I am very proud of you! ^_^
On a side not, most of you are already using spark people which is perfectly fine if that's working for you. I am not too big on that website, as I have fell in love with a better site! www.webmd.com it's fantabulous!! I was just looking at these cool little tips they have on their site about what kind of foods help boost energy, what to avoid, and what "bad" foods you can have within reason. I actually learned alot, if you're interested you should check it out, here is the link: http://women.webmd.com/family-health-9/slideshow-eat-healthier-family
You can also take their little online assessment. It asks what your goals are, what you are wanting to change, it takes in account your activity level, and all that other junk and what not. Then it will create a plan for you as to how much weight and how many pant sizes you can lose within a certain peroid of time if you stay on track. If any of you are interested here is the link: http://www.webmd.com/diet/diet-health-check/default.htm
They also have a food and fitness planner where you can track your meals and activity level: http://www.webmd.com/diet/food-fitness-planner
Love,
Dexter
Ps. Ha! I Bet you didn't see that one coming... did you?!?! I know it was wrong to pretend to be my human... but I mean really... she posts the most random stupid crap on here, she is so lame! Someone had to do something to help her out... what?!... I am just saying!.. Anyway, I better go. I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow... you know waking up at noon, take my morning poo, eat, drink, nap, poo, eat, poo, drink, poo, and did I mention poo? Yeah... seeee ya!
-Meeeeeeow
... Anyway... So it's been a whole MONTH since we started this diet, crazy hu? We have all been doing really well, and we're already turning into some super sexy senoritas! I think it might be a good idea to start blogging about how far we have come this past month. This way we can keep track of our progress. I usually weigh and measure myself every Sunday. I wasn't able to measure myself this last Sunday, but I measured myself today and so far within the first month I have lost 1 inch around my waist, a little over 1 1/2 inches around my hips, and have lost 10pounds. I have NEVER lost 10 pounds with any diet... unless you consider the flu a diet... Everyone has been doing a great job with staying on track, I am very proud of you! ^_^
On a side not, most of you are already using spark people which is perfectly fine if that's working for you. I am not too big on that website, as I have fell in love with a better site! www.webmd.com it's fantabulous!! I was just looking at these cool little tips they have on their site about what kind of foods help boost energy, what to avoid, and what "bad" foods you can have within reason. I actually learned alot, if you're interested you should check it out, here is the link: http://women.webmd.com/family-health-9/slideshow-eat-healthier-family
You can also take their little online assessment. It asks what your goals are, what you are wanting to change, it takes in account your activity level, and all that other junk and what not. Then it will create a plan for you as to how much weight and how many pant sizes you can lose within a certain peroid of time if you stay on track. If any of you are interested here is the link: http://www.webmd.com/diet/diet-health-check/default.htm
They also have a food and fitness planner where you can track your meals and activity level: http://www.webmd.com/diet/food-fitness-planner
Love,
Dexter
Ps. Ha! I Bet you didn't see that one coming... did you?!?! I know it was wrong to pretend to be my human... but I mean really... she posts the most random stupid crap on here, she is so lame! Someone had to do something to help her out... what?!... I am just saying!.. Anyway, I better go. I have a very busy day ahead of me tomorrow... you know waking up at noon, take my morning poo, eat, drink, nap, poo, eat, poo, drink, poo, and did I mention poo? Yeah... seeee ya!
-Meeeeeeow
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